


Classic Comedy Edition

by KurtPikachu2001



Category: Robot Chicken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 15:40:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8452078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KurtPikachu2001/pseuds/KurtPikachu2001
Summary: Robot Chicken is tackling a subject it's never done before:  Old Comedy Teams.  Three seconds blips of Burns and Allen, Martin and Lewis, Bob Hope and Bing Crosby, Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd, Little Rascals and W.C. Fields.  Charlie Chaplin puts a questionable scene in Modern Times, Abbot and Costello get lured to their deaths by all the monsters they've encountered in their movies.  The Three Stooges get beaten by gangsters and need another replacement Stooge.  A trip to the grocery store turns violent and deadly when Laurel goes psycho on Hardy.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Always wished Robot Chicken would do a parody of those Old Comedy Teams from yesteryear. If Robot Chicken has spoofed Batman, Mickey Mouse, and Bugs Bunny and other franchises similar that came out in the 30's and 40's, why doesn't RC do Charlie Chaplin? Even Celebrity Deathmatch made fun of The Marx Brothers taking on John Wayne, Martin and Lewis, and the Three Stooges as well. So I decided to write my own take on how Robot Chicken would take on old Comedy Teams. Hey, if other adult cartoons such as Futurama, American Dad, and Family Guy referenced these old comedy teams and comedians why not Robot Chicken? This one I'm doing WC Fields, Charlie Chaplin, Burns and Allen, Martin and Lewis, Hope and Crosby, Marx Brothers, Three Stooges, Abbott and Costello, and Laurel and Hardy. Just to tell you all, in my Three Stooges segment, I'm using Shemp. Because Shemp NEVER gets any recognition and he was the original third stooge to begin with! On with the fanfic!

Robot Chicken

Fanfic Title:

Classic Comedy Edition

by: Trenton Sands

 

Opening Credits Scene:

 

Curtains to a stage opens up. We see Fritz Huhnmorder and Chicken on stage dancing and wearing Vaudeville style clothes. Straw Hats, yellow striped shirts, black slacks, and spats. They were dancing with canes to 1930's style Big Band Music. The dance last 10 seconds until Fritz Huhnmorder and Chicken get pies in their faces and then sandbags drop on them both. The curtains to the stage fall down and a caption that is the Robot Chicken logo appears that reads: 

Robot Chicken: Classic Comedy Edition.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*spish*

 

Scene 1: Three Second Blips.

 

In a bedroom we see George Burns in bed with his wife Gracie Allen. 

George Burns: Say, Good Night Gracie!

Gracie Allen: Why don't you say Good Night for once, you ass?

George Burns (angerly): You're going to die before me, bitch!

 

*spish*

 

An orchestra room is now showed and Jerry Lewis is strumming a guitar playing dying sour notes. Dean Martin walks up to him.

 

Jerry Lewis: Oh, hey Dean!

Dean Martin: What are you doing with that guitar, Jerry?

Jerry Lewis: I'm going to play one of your songs!

Dean Martin: This will be interesting! Which song will you play?

Jerry Lewis (playing guitar blandly): This one. (singing) When the Moon Hits Your Eye Like a Big Penis Pie.....

Dean Martin takes the guitar away from Jerry.

Jerry Lewis: Give it back!

Dean Martin: THIS is the way you sing it. And it's NOT 'Penis pie!" (plays guitar and the orchestra joins in as Dean sings): When The Moon Hits Your Eye, Like a Big Pizza Pie That's Amore! When The World Seems To Shine Like You Had Too Much Wine......

Jerry Lewis (jumps in front of Dean): Penis Pie! Penis Pie! Penis Pie! 

Dean Martin finally gets frustrated and hits Jerry Lewis over the head with his guitar. The orchestra stops and claps for Dean.

Orchestra: YAY! HE WAS ANNOYING!!!

Dean Martin: It's not Penis Pie! It's PIZZA PIE!!!! 

Jerry Lewis (stunned): It's Penis Pie! 

Dean Martin: That's it! I'm not working with this asshole anymore! I'm going to collabarate with Frank Sinatra, Peter Lawford, Sammy Davis Jr, and and Joey Bishop and form The Rat Pack! Rather work with a black guy.....(Dean storms off)

 

*spish*

 

Bob Hope and Bing Crosby were on an island surrounded by black natives who were ready to maim them with spears. 

Bing Crosby: Maybe these fellas will help us get to Zanzibar?

Bob Hope: You nuts? These guys don't even speak English! They speak broken English!

Native #1: We not ahh-lowe white man on island....

Native #2: For that must die...

Bing Crosby: They're about ready to kill us, what should we do?

Bob Hope: What we always do when we're in a tight spot, Bing!

Bing Crosby and Bob Hope prepare to do their Pat-A-Cake Routine.

The Natives were ready to close in on them as Bob Hope and Bing Crosby play Patty Cake.

Bob Hope and Bing Crosby: Pat-A-Cake! Pat-A-Cake Bakers Man! Bake a Cake as Fast as you.....

The Natives were getting their testicles kicked by Bob Hope and Bing Crosby and the Natives were paralyzed with pain. 

Bob Hope and Bing Crosby (walk away and sing): We're off on the Road to Zanzibar! We're not gonna stop 'til we're there! We certainly did kick some black man's ass and balls....

 

*spish*

 

In a theater, The Little Rascals appear dancing on stage and singing. 

 

Spanky, Alfalfa, Stymie, Buckwheat, Waldo, Darla, Butch, Woim, and Froggy: (singing): We are the Little Rascals we hope to start the show.....

Out of nowhere the Little Rascals all get shot by a machine gun one by one leaving a bloody mess. At the balcony of the theater, W.C. Fields throws the machine gun he used to kill the Little Rascals out the window.

W.C. Fields: I never did like those little fuckers!

 

*spish*

 

On a Clock Tower Harold Lloyd is hanging onto the clock hand it moves. Then Harold Lloyd falls, until he lands on a roof where Buster Keaton was fixing and they both fall into a woman's bathouse. The naked women scream when they fell through and Harold Lloyd and Buster Keaton enjoyed what they say and they look at the screen and give a thumbs up! 

 

*spish*

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Scene 2: A deleted scene in Modern Times.

 

Film directors are looking through the newly finished Charlie Chaplin movie Modern Times. The film directors were in the for the shock of their lives when they see the scene where Charlie Chaplin was working on the big machine in the factory.

Producer: Holy shit! 

Director: What the fuck is he doing?!?!

The scene showed Charlie Chaplin in a compromising position with Paulette Goddard when Charlie Chaplin and Paulette Goddard both fell into the gears. Both the Producer and the Director confront Charlie Chaplin about it.

Producer: A SEX SCENE?!?!?!

Director: What do you think this is? A porno?

Charlie Chaplin is not ashamed, but proud of the sex scene he did, so he starts singing in pantomime. 

*spish*

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scene 3: Abbott and Costello are lured to their deaths

 

Lou Costello was running away from his mailbox into the apartment he shared with Bud Abbott. In his hand was an invitation to perform at a Senior Picnic. Lou Costello runs by an old lady in the lobby without regard. 

Old Lady: Watch where you're running you young whipper snapper!

Lou Costello: HHHHEEEEEEYYYYYY AAAAAAAABBBBBBBBOOOOOOTTTTTTT!!

Bud Abbott: Lou! What the hell! Son of a bitch you screamed into my fucking ear!

Lou Costello: Got the best news ever!

Bud Abbott: What's so important that you have to annoy me for, Lou? Is this another one of your.....

Lou Costello (hands Bud the invitation): Read this and you'll see.

Bud Abbott reads the invitation. 

Lou Costello: What do you think? Should we do it?

Bud Abbott: Hmmmm It's for us to perform at a Senior Picnic. All right, we will. We can never pass up an opportunity to perform for our fans. 

Lou Costello: Which routine should we do?

Bud Abbott: How about we show these senior citizens The Math Problem....

Lou Costello: Nah, that one's too hard, like that growth in my pants.

Bud Abbott: What's wrong, you afraid these old folks are going to see you for the terminally brainless sack of shit you are?

Lou Costello: No, it's not that. Say, I got it! Let's do the You're 40 and she's 10 one!

Bud Abbott: Not a chance! Why not the one we're best known for...... 

Lou Costello: Who's on First?

Bud Abbott: Right! Let's go. 

Little did they know what danger was going to lurk at the senior picnic. Momentarily, they were at the Senior Picnic doing their Who's On First Routine.

Bud Abbot: I'm telling you Who's On First Base......

The senior citizens take off their disguises and they reveal themselves to be all the monsters Bud and Lou have encounters in their movies. Every monster was there from Frakenstein, The Mummy, The Invisible Man, The Killer, and Dr. Jekyll who was Mr. Hyde. 

Bud Abbott: I think we've been set up! 

Lou Costello: Someone is trying to fuck with us! (jumps into Bud's arms) Protect me!!

Bud Abbott (throws Lou on the ground): What're ya, gay?

Frankenstein, The Mummy, The Invisible Man, The Killer, and Mr, Hyde all walk up to Abbott and Costello and grab them, then tie them to stakes. The Mummy lights a fire beneath them. 

Lou Costello: HHHHHEEEEEYYYYYY AAAAABBBBBBBOOOOOTTTTTTT!!!!!

Bud Abbott: No one can help us now, Lou!

Frankenstein: These are for all the crimes you have both committed us!

The Mummy: You have no idea how long we've been wanting to kill you assholes!

The Killer: Enjoy your afterlife, bitches!

Frankenstein, The Mummy, Mr. Hyde, The Killer, and The Invisible Man all watch in excitement as Abbott and Costello were getting burned at the stake. Then Abbott and Costello both get burned alive scream in pain, as both their bodies get reduced to ashes. The Invisible Man gets a dog poop bag and puts their ashes in it and throws them in the trash.

Invisible Man: That's a good place for them! (laughs) 

 

*spish*

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Scene 4: The Marx Brothers learn they have a long last biracial brother.

 

Groucho Marx and his brother Chico Marx were in the office of Paramount Studios talking to the President Barney Balaban about their upcoming movie Duck Soup.

Barney Balaban: We LOVE your idea for Duck Soup, guys. But there's one thing.....

Chico Marx: What ees eet?

Barney Balaban: You guys need another brother for this flick if it's going to be made.

Groucho Marx: We have Zeppo, he can sing although he can't act worth a shit....

Barney Balaban: This movie will need five Marx Brothers....

Chico Marx: Gummo! We will use heem!

Barney Balaban: No, there are five of you, it needs six. 

Groucho Marx (to Chico): You seen Harpo, anywhere?

Chico Marx: Yes, he's outside seduceeng ladies weeth hees horn! Unteel their een their skeevees!

Groucho Marx: That's our Harpo! Always been the casanova!

Chico Marx: Like you are weeth reech old womeen! 

Outside Paramount Pictures, Harpo Marx stands in the Parking Lot and uses his horn to blow women's clothes off. Any woman who walks his way and screames when they're getting their clothes blown off by Harpo's horn. This continues on until Harpo finds the perfect woman.

Harpo (blowing his horn)

Woman (getting her clothes blown off) AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Harpo then jumps on the woman to have sex with her.

Woman: HHEEEELLLPPPP! GET HIM OFF!!!!!

Back in Barney Balaban's office, Zeppo walks in. 

Zeppo (sings): You say you need a sixth Marx Brother? Well, I found one!

Groucho and Chico watch as they see a Chinese looking Marx Brother walk into the office. 

Zeppo (singing): Allow me to introduce to you....our long lost biracial brother......CHOPPO MARX!

Choppo looked like Jackie Chan and spoke fluent Cantonese. Choppo did some martial arts moves, too. 

Barney Balaban: Perfect! We found out sixth Marx Brother! Duck Soup is ON!

Groucho Marx: Guess there's soy sauce in our family! Momma had a fling with a ching....

Chico Marx: That don't roll off the tongue too well. I say, Momma sure knew how to use her chopsteeks! 

Groucho and Chico both laugh. The next day, Duck Soup was filming. The musical montage It's War It's War It's War We Have To Fight was being acted out and recorded.

Actors, Actresses, Marx Brothers (singing): It's War! It's War! It's War We Have to Fight!

Choppo Marx (singing up close to the camera) Eet! Wah! Eet! Wah! Wah Wee Ov To Fite! 

Actors, Actresses, Marx Brothers (singing): It's War! It's War! It's War We Have To Fight!

Choppo Marx (singing up close to the camera) Eet! Wah! Eet! Wah! Wah Wee Ov To Fite! heeeeee-yooohhhhh!!!!!

The musical montage goes on until Choppo Marx uses his martial arts skills on all the actors and actresses sans Chico, Groucho, Harpo, and Zeppo. This makes Leo McCarey angry.

Choppo: EEEEEEEEEEEE-YYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Leo McCarey: STOP! STOP! STOP! CUT! CUT! DO IT AGAIN FROM THE TOP! (under his breath) this scene will never make the cut with that karate chopper.

 

*spish*

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Scene 5: Three Stooges Get Boned.

 

Moe, Larry, and Shemp were about to enter a tacky bar. Larry and Shemp try to go in first but Moe stops them. Moe grabs Larry and Shemp by the seats of their pants.

Moe: Knuckleheads, Spread Out! (Knocks Larry's head into Shemps head 3x)

Larry and Shemp: Ooooof! Oooooof! 

Shemp: By all means you first Moe.

Larry: How about we ravage some dames when we get inebrated!

Moe, Larry and Shemp go inside the tacky bar. Everyone else in the bar were 1940s era gangsters waiting to strike.

Larry, Moe, and Shemp (together and stretching): Ahhhh! Lets get drunk! Time for Happy Hour!

Moe, Larry, and Shemp accidently hit each other in the faces.

Larry: I'm sorry, Moe!

Shemp: Yeah, we screwed you that time! (laughs)

Moe: That's all right! Accidents will happen... (pats Larry and Shemp on the shoulders)

Larry and Shemp look on as they see Moe carry a beer keg that he hits Larry and Shemp over the head with.

Moe: Bump into me again, I'll moidah you guys! In the foist degree!

Shemp (shouts in Moe's face): You're such as ass, Moe! 

Moe: Quiet, dickmouse! (gouges Shemp's eyes out)

Shemp: OWWWW!! SHIT!!!!! See that? (extends his arm and shows his fist to Moe)

Moe: Yeah! (slaps Shemps fist)

Shemp (hitting himself on the head): Oooooh! Dammit!

Larry: Leave him alone, you son of a whore!

Moe: Stay out of this, you cock sucking porcupine! (pulls Larry's hair) 

The gangsters get out of their seats and approach Moe, Larry, and Shemp.

Moe: I'll tear your testicles out of both of ya!

Shemp: That sounds like sexual harrassment! Whatever happened to tonsils?

Moe pushed a screaming Shemp into the Tap Room and bottles of alcohol broke. Shemp was drenched in alcohol. 

Shemp: (licks alcohol on his fingers): hee bee bee bee bee bee bee bee! Vintage! (drinks a broken bottle) Rapey! 

Moe shouted at Shemp then he jumped over the counter of the Tap Room. The gangsters all had them cornered. Their names were Lefty, Righty, and Mugsy. Moe, Larry, and Shemp panicked.

Larry: We don't have money.....

Lefty: Shut up! 

Righty: So, you guys are the Stooges, huh?

Moe: Yes we are! What do you sons of bitches want with us?

Mugsy: We want you all to give us the pleasure to entertain us!

Larry: Pleasure, eh? We can do that.

Shemp: What kind of a joint is this? These gangsters want us to give them hand jobs...

Moe: If that's what they want us to do, we'll do it!

Larry: Okay, here we go!

Shemp and Larry proceeded to try to take of Mugsy's, Lefty's and Righty's pants, then Moe slapped them.

Moe: What's the matter with you? 

Shemp: He said....

Mugsy: We didn't mean that kind of pleasure! Hands job my ass! 

Lefty: Do something funny! 

Shemp (sneers at Lefty): Maybe we don't wanna.....

Righty (points a gun at Shemp): MAKE US LAUGH!!!!

Shemp (gives in): Okay, we'll make you laugh.

Moe: We're going to do one of our musical numbers! Hit it! 

Larry plays the violin as Moe and Shemp sing. Larry sings as well.

Moe (singing): This is a sad, sad, story.....

Larry and Shemp (mock sobbing)

Moe (singing): Of a man and all his glory...

Larry and Shemp (mock sobbing)

Moe (singing): He could......

Larry and Shemp join in.

Moe, Larry, and Shemp (singing): Rat-tat-tootle day day! Rat-tat-tootle-day day! Rar-tat-tootle-day day! Rum bay Rum Bay Rum bay....

Mugsy, Lefty, and Righty were not one bit amused. 

Righty: You're not funny!

Lefty: Get them!

Moe: Take it easy now...

Mugsy, Lefty, and Righty beat up Moe, Larry, and Shemp who try to fight back with their Stooge moves but fail. 

Lefty (beating on Moe): Why aren't you fighting back, thought you were tough!

Mugsy: These guys are pussies in real life! 

Righty shoots Larry in the head. Lefty, Mugsy, and Righty finish off Moe and Shemp who were both knocked out. After the Gangsters were done, Lefty, Mugsy, and Righty left the bar feeling victorious. Moe and Shemp come to.

Moe: What a hangover. Did we drink?

Shemp: No, we got the shit beat out of us!

Moe: Why did you remind me? (slaps Shemp)

Then Moe and Shemp notice Larry was dead.

Shemp (gasps in horror): Oh no, Look!

Moe (shouts): LARRY!!

Shemp: They killed Larry!

Moe: Those bastards! FUCKING BASTARDS!!!!

Shemp: First Curly gets a stroke, now Larry dies....

Moe: Poor Larry!

Shemp: Oh woe is Larry! We're a victim of circumcision!

Moe: He's in a better place! I feel bad that I pushed him around.....

Shemp: It was all for show! (takes off his hat) For the show must go on! He's in heaven with Jesus! 

Moe: We're Jewish, we don't believe in that! (slaps Shemp)

Larry's demise made Moe and Shemp both cry their eyes out and hug each other. 

Moe (sobbing): Looks like we'll have to find a replacement second stooge.....

Shemp (sobbing): You're right! We just can't be the Two Stooges.....

Moe: From now on, you're the second stooge.

Shemp: Who's gonna be the third?

Moe: I know just who.....

The day after, Moe and Shemp found a replacement for Larry. The Three Stooges theme song and logo appears with Shemp, Moe, and their new replacement, Dudley Dickerson. The three of them come out at once with Top Hats and Canes. They sing, "Hello! Hello! Hallah!!" The scene changes to Moe, Shemp, and Dudley were on the set that looked like a haunted house. Moe was trying to pick a lock.

Moe: Keep quiet while I pick this lock or I'll moidah you both!

Dudley: Yes, suh!

Shemp (to Dudley): Moes picking a lock. So keep your mouth shut.

Dudley: Sho Nuff!

Moe: Hey, Shemp! Did you hear that tumbling click?

Shemp: Didn't hear a tumbling, but I know what makes it click! (laughs)

Moe (gouging Shemps eyes): Who asked you. (Turns to Dudley) Dudley! Did you hear that tumbling click?

Dudley: No suh! (gets a deer in the headlights look) Wait! Who's gonna tumble on who's click!

Moe: What a wuss! Shemp! Throw him out!

Shemp: With pleasure!

Then Dudley gets thrown out by Shemp. Dudley screams as he was being thrown. Dudley then lands onto a knight armor and slowly turns around. The knight armor had a mace that hit Dudley in the butt.

Dudley (screams): Let go-a me!!!!

Moe, Shemp, and Dudley were on the front page of the LA Times the next day. The Headline read: "The Three Stooges are Better Than Ever!" Their act with Dudley Dickerson proved to be a success. 

 

*spish*

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Scene 6: Laurel goes psycho on Hardy

 

The Laurel and Hardy show logo appears and plays horn like version of their Call of The Cuckoo song.

Voiceover: And now back to the Laurel and Hardy show.

A antique car is shown riding down the road with Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy in it. Ollie was driving as they were heading to the grocery store.

Ollie: Isn't it great to be a newlywed, Stan! Look at us, buying groceries for us and our wives!

Stan: It certainly is, Ollie! 

Ollie: Now remember Stanny! I used to work here, so if you need help finding anything come to me.

Stan: I won't forget!

Ollie: We got the list here. (looks at Stan) What's going on with you.

Stan: Me wife caught me in the bathroom with a Mickey Mouse comic book and she thought I was twirking me jerk and now she says she'll put me away. Think she could that?

Ollie: If she does, won't be my problem.

Stan: Why do you say that? You're my friend wouldn't you help me if she tried?

Ollie: Because she knows you're dumb enough to believe it!

Stan moans in sadness.

Ollie (disgustedly): If you're dumb enough to believe that maybe should go!

Stan (sobs): Gee, Ollie! Why do you have to be such a dick to me?

Ollie: Quit your fucking sobbing. We're here!

The antique car drove into the parking lot of the grocery store. Stan and Ollie both got out and were walking into the store.

Ollie: We need to get everything on this list our wives want. (thinking about his wife) My wife has the most beautiful piece of ass in the world.

Stan: Me and my wife like to do it doggy style! Sode-dem-eee!

Ollie (hits Stan): Don't talk about your sex life in public, that's private!

Stan: Go fuck yourself, douchebag! 

Then Stan relatiates by hitting Ollie and he shouts in painfully as they were walking into the store. Ollie gets the cart and both him and Stan proceed to get all the groceries. They get everything on the list expect for eggs. 

Ollie: All we need now as the eggs. Stanny, would YOU like to go get them?

Stan: I most certainly will, Ollie! 

Ollie: Good, we need to please our wives in any way we can! A task slowly done is surely done! 

Stan goes down every aisle to try to find the eggs with no luck. Stan starts to panic. A fat woman store clerk comes up to him. Her name was Betty.

Betty: Everything okay, sir?

Stan (sobbing): I can't find the eggs. Need them for our wives. 

Betty: I have some eggs you can have.

Stan (smiling): Really? Can you show them to me?

Betty (seductively): I have some inside my uterus, big boy. 

Stan screams in fear.

Betty: Come on and fertilize my eggs, if you know what I mean!

Stan moans in horror. Ollie was in the back aisle growing impatient by the minute.

Ollie: What's taking that skinny son of a bitch so long?

Betty: Come on and do me right here! I'll give you all the eggs you want! Make it worth your while.....

Stan (running away screaming): I'm married.......

Betty: Fuck him, anyway.

Ollie tries to look for Stan who was running around frantically crying asking store clerks where the eggs were. None of the store clerks knew where the eggs were at. Ollie finds Stan and is very angry at him.

Stan (sobbing): Ollie! I can't find the eggs!

Ollie: What's taking you so long! You should've gotten the eggs by now! I know where they are! 

Stan (sobbing): I looked everywhere, Ollie! A fat woman tried to have her way with me, then I ran around the store asking the clerks and.....(crying)

Ollie (flabbergasted): Well, then why didn't you ask (pointing to himself) ME! I used to work here!

Stan (still crying): Never thought to do that!

Ollie (enraged): That's the problem with you, never think things through! 

Stan (crying): Sorry Ollie!

Ollie (kicks Stan): Shut up! Fucking dumbass shit for brains! Want to know what your problem is?

Stan: What is it?

Ollie: You are terminally brainless that's what! I keep beating you, insulting you, and nothing seems to work! 

Stan was still crying.

Ollie: You have no balls! Scratch that! You do have balls but in the wrong place! You have testicles where your brain should be, and you have a brain where your testicles should be! (drags Stan) Come along! I'll show you where the eggs are!

Stan was being dragged by Ollie until Stan pushes him. Ollie punches Stan in the face that sends him flying into a can of beans. 

Ollie (points to Stan): HA! HA! Serves you right!

Stan emerges from the stack of canned beans and Stan's eyes turn bloodshot red and becomes very vexed and indignant. Store clerks and people shopping there were watching them.

Ollie (astounded): Uh, Stan what are you doing.....

Stan (exasperated): Ollie you have pushed me around for the last time! (gets out of the canned beans and walks up to Ollie)

Ollie (backing away): Now Stanny! Stanny! Calm down....let's not get riled up!

Stan: You always say I get your into another nice mess....

Ollie: I never meant anything by that, honest! 

Stan: You are about to become another nice mess when I kick your fat pompous arrogant ass!

Ollie: Please Stan, NO!!! (on his knees) Was just trying to make you a better....

Stan: I'm about to rip out your balls.......and then some! Gonna kick you fucking ass!!!! You stupid fat bossy son of a bitch! Prepare to meet your maker!!!!! (screaming on top of his lungs) Time to pay the piper!!!!! (points to Ollie)

Ollie: NO!!!!

Stan starts mercilessly beating up on Ollie. Everyone in the store watches and cheers for Stan. 

Clerks and Customers: GO GO GO GO GO GO GO!!!!!

Stan punches, kicks, and throws cans of fruits and vegetables at Ollie badly injuring him. Ollie had blood on him and broken bones.

Ollie: AAAAHHH!!!! HOO! HOO! OOOOWWWWW!!! SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING TO HELP ME!!!! THIS MAN'S INSANE!!!

Stan pins Ollie to the floor and bites his nose off and pulls out his ears leaving a bloody mess, he even rips out Ollie's testicles. Stan (boasting): Who has no balls now? 

Clerks and Costumers: FINISH HIM OFF!! FINISH HIM OFF!!! Stan jumps up and down the Ollie making him vomit and crap his pants. Stan punches and kicks Ollie some more, until Stan runs off.

Clerks and Costumers: FINISH HIM OFF!! FINISH HIM OFF!!!

Ollie gets up barely and he sees Stan coming at him with a dynamite filled shopping cart and screams.

Stan: At least I know where the dynamite is! Gonna blow you to the moon, Ollie! 

Clerks and customers watch as Stan pushed the shopping cart filled with dynamite at Ollie's direction the cart hit Ollie and he exploded. Ollie was blown away and dead and the store clerks and customers cheered for Stan.

Clerks and Costumers: YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! 

Stan took a bow, and two women came up to him.

Woman #1: Hey, big boy! Did you kill off that fat dickhead?

Stan (triumphantly): I most certainly did. Just can't stand him hassling me around anymore! So I showed him! (nods his head and smiles) 

Woman #2: Come with us you handsome devil. We are going to have a threesome! (pinching Stan's cheek) 

Stan and the two women drive off into the sunset in the antique car with Ollie's bloody head on the trunk.

 

THE END

 

Closing Credits The Robot Chicken Closing theme plays. Then the Stoopid Monkey logo appears with the Monkey dressed as in a straw hat and vaudeville clothes dancing with a cane, and slipping on a banana peel.


End file.
